It wasn’t that long ago, I come to your place
Of the past, my memories try to espy your gaze
We fitted together, our parents of mad siblings
Feel that bliss of novelty, they’ll see through our
Made-up ending: we’re the final dinner, Brother
The sun’s fixed hidden behind your fading face

I walk in your rooms, I lay on your bed, unarmed
Just wanting to see if it will hurt, a half-moon
Lurking from your eyes, in that look on a picture
Somewhere for all, I want that warmth for myself
I need the version behind the veneer of ecstasy
A bogus gentleman, certainly not one of a kind

I was alone all along, I must have been lonely
When you were so cut-out, so gone, a ghost
This is the best thing about someone who dies
My blood thrives in the mornings of your rebirth
The nights, I’m too old to remember the lack of
A dream, just a dream, and I ache to wake up

Poem 33

Like a dying hive, I cracked from inside out
In this neighborhood, with its horizon soiled
Fuming noise, sheared by streets, buried in that whore
Globe, round and sound, encircled in its atmosphere
Out of my reach, it’s dark over here
Some linen feeling lurks, escapes mouth in liquid murk
As the theme inside becomes a ring, only when I’m sober

I’m here for you

Our house is brimming with motion
With endless stairs that run all ways and see
We do not sleep, the murmur is slick
It goes deeply to the core, satiated, inside our moist bones
When little feet thump behind walls
Chamber echoes summon rumours
We fight the night, don’t need the mock of light
Who keeps intact the walloping swing of swings
Of walking anger, covering the sense of danger

Submission #2

I will go to the lowest low
For you, it’s how you made me
Your words moulded and hardened
A true, self-harming, promiscuous
Thing, out of the respectable
Once trusted between the superiors
I’ve lost their count since then
Why you, it started slowly, you crawled under
My feet, anticipating to destroy the one in power
It was allowed back then, just to enjoy me
In pools of water and the hottest, driest of all cathedrals
Here, inside my body, you laid something
Which made a difference in the heavens
For every single word you gave me
You were repaid its weight in licks of my whip

Poem 32: A cry

A cry out of humiliation escaped
This filled with scattered halves land
It turns out, I do have a cunning mind
Deliciously wrapped in a blurry, suicidal thought
No, it’s one part simple bravery, and two parts
Fear of a traitor, before the firing squad
And then you take me back for a last short trip
Was his pain louder than mine
I ask when I’m shaking, suffering
I couldn’t move my fingers for a while
With his face being dream-kissed
I felt his fingers in my mouth
And then another kiss
I couldn’t move to stop it, a rare
Day, tainted with a residual of his dark spell
I crossed such loveless, empty phase
But only now I understand
My love is not cold steel- a work in progress
Transcending in a quiet knock of time

Congrats with the wedding

You want me to tell my son the truth

About his father, how he left me pregnant

With his child, to go and marry another woman

How he never asked a single question about his boy

Why would he, he had three more, now four

I fucked up by choosing him and he made

My life hell, is there a revenge sweeter

Than the sweet, dear boy, untroubled

Untouched by this evil, his eyes full of joy!

Poem 31

The explosion-like effect of words

Gives news, takes us unwanted, dreaded

To another level of shamanism, the “talker”

I’ve become mute instead of scared

I’m ruminating on a faith no longer hidden

My drive went down, and moments later

My emptiness could hear steps of inner rivers

Added to the silence, once created, next thing

I know, is burning fever, two buzzing ears

They hear all my fears, and what this world is up to

Poem 30

Tell me about the one you hate the most

Is it a woman, braided and slim, who walked away slowly
Who metamorphosed into a drab shade, left you for dead
Is it a man who made you blush, and even more uncertain
About what you were doing with your life so far
Did she come to take your mother’s place, or did she put on someone’s sore face
Has he touched you in a way that made you suffer with his own kind of pain
Did you ever meet them again, did you tell them that not you, they had to wait and listen
For a better day, to their friends who begged them to stay indifferent
You told them, being a season of life, to stay a little more, let’s play
We had stones and leaves, even water under our feet, a few feet below
You had to tell them that not hate, you felt sympathy and regret
For not letting them go, for not answering that one important question

Poem 29 (a deal-breaker)

We, the women, have gathered
We’ve looked at your behaviour closely
All our lives we thought you were
Who and what, you, the man, was stronger
One who had us in your arms
What kept us in “our place”
We never thought it was not a big deal
Anything you asked us to perform for you
You mocked us, got us pregnant
For purpose, you enslaved us
Made us do it despite our pain
Our blood was spilled in vain
Always yours, our name
We changed the locks one day
You came, took us from behind
Made us pray to gods we hated
We wept on your altar, we prayed
We died sooner, but not sooner than you
We killed you and you didn’t notice
You lived, your alter ego lived through us
Our love was stronger
Louder than a crying baby
Nagging, always bold in her destructive beauty

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